Spring Fling and Summer Lovin

I was just thinking it’s Back to School Time. The summer is about to end and football season will begin soon. This made me think about the fun times of spring and summer. The time when the ladies show off those freshly shaved legs and cute pedicures. Shorts, sundresses, rompers are the trend of the season. Not to mention, rockin the cute shades and sexy swimsuits. It’s enough to send the men into a feeding frenzy! Oh and the men are showing off those rock hard abs and beautiful arms. Their hair is always freshly cut and some love to rock those fedoras. The confidence and the swag they have is overwhelmingly sexy. Let the battle of the sexes begin! Everyone is on the prowl for a………


So ladies if your man started acting up after Valentine’s Day, blame it on the warm temperatures and blooming flowers. He probably didn’t want to be tied down in a relationship. Why bring sand to the beach? And fellas if your woman has lost a few extra pounds and asked for space, more than likely she wanted to add a few numbers to her little black book. It’s something about that spring fever and summer madness that makes everyone crazy. Well if you are still with your man or woman then hopefully you added a little sizzle to relationship because it is definitely hot out there. I do mean literally and figuratively :-)

Let’s talk about Spring Fling! What is a Spring Fling anyway? Well according to the urban dictionary it is a casual relationship between two persons who are attracted to one another. This can involve puppy love, sex, or perhaps just “hooking up”. It can also refer to a fling that takes place during the named season. (Btw………..Spring is when most animals mate!) With that being said, if you meet a guy or girl during a Spring Festival, Spring Break or, Spring Getaway it may not be your soul mate.It just may be someone to kick it with during the three most beautiful months of the year. If it does evolve into a wonderful romance……….then you are one of the lucky ones. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with having a Spring Fling. Sometimes this happens after a long romance that went sour or when you have been totally stressed with school, work, or both. There are quite a few ladies that aren’t comfortable with the idea of a Spring Fling for various reasons. I say go ahead girl and do your thing………………. You only live once! Besides men have done this shit for years. You may have been a Spring Fling and didn’t know it. For example, have you ever started a romance and it was going well and you guys were having fun and then within 3-6 months it’s over. I hate to break it to you but you were a Spring Fling.

Now what about Summer Lovin? It’s a sexual adventure free of hassles, commitments or drama, timed for the summer only. It’s not just limited to sex. Summer Lovin is something light and fun-filled with nothing to worry about at the end of the season. It’s usually not exclusive to one person and ends in a mutual agreement of friendship. This takes me back to Sandy and Danny in the movie Grease. Oh don’t act like you don’t remember the movie! They had a summer fling that evolved into a complicated relationship by the fall and winter, partly because of the infamous “representative” Danny put on during the summer. Now granted they did get it worked out and they fell in love and drove off into the sunset. It doesn’t happen that way all the time but you can still enjoy Summer Lovin and not be attached or exclusive. Ladies, I know that we want our flings and lovin to end this way but let’s stop kidding ourselves. Life isn’t a fairy tale and we are not Cinderella. Can we have a happy ending? Hell Yes!! But we can also live in the moment, have fun, and just maybe create our own happy ending. Think about it like this…….you are looking good and it’s summer time. You have three carefree months of not being stuck in a serious relationship but all the perks of one with just a little Spring Fling and Summer Lovin!

So go ahead girlfriend and just Enjoy Yourself like Michael Jackson says. Live your life off the wall. You’ll be happy you did and you will definitely have great memories. If the men can do it, so can we!

Have you ever had a spring fling or summer romance? How did it end? Did you enjoy it? Would you do it again?


Stay tuned for the  Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle follow-up!

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It’s Complicated….Time to Re-Examine the Relationship

There comes a time when you must step back and re-examine the situation you are in. We tend to stay in a relationship simply because of the years that have been invested in it or we tend to hold on to the thought of a certain relationship because of the years that were invested. Hoping for the possibility of a reunion. We become complacent because it is familiar or it doesn’t require growth or change. We don’t want to open ourselves to the possibility of something new.

For the one that says oh we’ve been together for years. Our families are involved. The question for you is at what point do you stop and think about what’s keeping you from progressing to the next level. Is it distance, time, fear,or complacency? Is it work, school, or money? All those things can be changed but you must be willing. You say I’m in love with him/her. He’s my rock. She’s a good woman. I don’t know what the future holds for us. What’s the problem? There’s a need to re-examine the relationship.  You’re not getting any younger. That’s real talk!

For the one that’s holding on to the possibility of reconnecting with that one great love. The question is what is keeping you apart from each other. Why aren’t you making it  happen? Why are you holding on to the idea and not making it a reality? Is it fear, stubbornness, procrastination?  You say he/she will always be my one true love. What the problem? Again I say there’s a need to re-examine the relationship. Time does not wait for any one.

Perhaps during the re-examination you will find that the only thing you are holding on to are all of those years. That really and truly, the love has faded and there is no turning back. Maybe you have outgrown each other. There could very well be someone new staring you in the face but you’re too blinded by the old love. Then again maybe you will discover that you can’t be without that person and do something to reclaim the lost love or rekindle the flame. You will never know until you take time to re-examine the relationship. Communication is the key.  It would be such a pity to let love slip right through your fingers. It would also be such a shame to let a wonderful opportunity pass you by.

That’s my truth about dating!


Have you ever been afraid to end a relationship because of the number of years you’ve been together? Have you ever become complacent in a relationship?

The Ladies and the Season for Open Toed Shoes

Ladies it’s spring and I know we are ready to rock the latest open toed shoe. You’ve seen this before in email chains, if not check it out. Before you go struttin your stuff, stand up and take the pledge.

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.  I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip-flops that I will make sure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season  at least once a month and have a real pedicure (they range from $15-$30 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear… nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Please share with your sista friends!

Happy Spring!!!


I’ll Be Back

It’s been a while been a while since I’ve posted about some of my random truths or falsities about dating :-) I’ve been bogged down in dissertation shiggity. Chapter 2 (the Lit Review) is no joke. The deadlines have been mad crazy and the professor/editor is a beast with the red pen. I get comments like……..Truthseeker, your writing is great but double-check your APA and cite everything. Hello….What the hell do you think I have been doing?!?!? The entire paper is full of citations because I can’t share my own ideas at this point. All I do is research, read, write, and cite. Ok I digress……….. The light is slowly peeping through the tunnel.

This is what my life is like at the moment.

I will be back soon with some random ish about dating but for now I want to share a site with you. This guy over at The Black Dating Blog, recently published a post titled “Top 100
Family, Marriage, and Relationship Blogs for African-Americans”. The Truth About Dating is on the list :-) I applaud him for pulling together a list of bloggers with different perspectives. Please go check it out: http://www.bestblackdatingsites.org/top-100-family-marriage-and-relationship-blogs-for-african-americans/  Thank you Joseph Atkins!

Don’t forget to send your burning dating questions to askpeterblack@yahoo.com. Answers will be posted on Fridays. Also if you have a Truth About Dating Story you want to share, please do. Contact me at thetruthseeker411@gmail.com.

Laters Baby,


Valentine’s Day Giveaway Update

Congratulations Sasha!!!! You are the winner of the Valentine’s Day Giveaway!!!!!

Order Number Prize
1st prize 1x Shari’s Berries® Bites – 9 Count
                                RandomPicker drew the following people.:
Winner ID Prize
                                                    Sasha Shari’s Berries® Bites – 9 Count
To claim your prize email me at  thetruthseeker411@gmail.com
Thank you to everyone who participated in the giveaway!!!!


Happy Valentine’s Day Truthseeker Fans!!!!

In honor of Valetine’s Day, I am hosting my very first Giveaway! That’s right GIVEAWAY!!! Enter for your chance to win Shari’s Berries® Bites – 9 Count Berry Bites.

Shari’s Berries® Bites – 9 Count

This 9 count contains 3 Strawberries Covered in Milk with White Swizzles, 3 Strawberries Covered in Dark with Milk Swizzles, and 3 Strawberries Covered in White with Dark Swizzles. What a perfectly sized bite!  You can enjoy these luscious berries alone or with a friend.

Rules and Requirements for the Giveaway:

Comment on this post! Tell me about your plans for Valentine’s Day! You must enter a valid email address.

That’s it! Quite simple!

The giveaway ends February 14 at 11:59 p.m. Good Luck!!!

TERMS: The winner will be chosen randomly. This giveaway is only for U.S. residents only. All international entries will be discarded. If you win the giveaway, you must be willing to provide a U.S. address (NO P.O. BOXES) to have the item shipped out to you. The winner will be notified via email.


Ask Peter Black Q & A 2-15-13

Question: Do you believe in love at first sight or is there such a thing as love at first sight? Because when I saw truth seekers pic on this blog I was like damn she look good. She is a good-looking woman.

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” – William Shakespeare

Dear Big Mike,

When it comes to love, timing is everything.  The perfect partner can sit next to you at a party and if you’re too busy, involved in another relationship, or otherwise preoccupied, you might not notice him or her.  But if you’ve just moved to a new city or recovered from a dismal love affair, you may be ripe to fall in love.

Love at first sight, I’m sure, happens to men more than women.  Men are more visual, but I think we can all remember when we walked into a room and felt an instant attraction to someone we barely knew.  Science says it has a practical purpose and I would agree.  In the animal kingdom you can’t spend three months discussing your résumé.  You need instant sparks to start the breeding process.

I wish there was a manual for falling in love, maybe “Falling in Love for Dummies.”  Falling in love isn’t hard.  From my experiences, falling in love with the right person is the challenge.  One thing is for certain, regardless of how you fall, at first sight or over the long run, you fall.


I am Peter Black

Follow my blog, www.askpeterblack.com. ; Follow me on Twitter, @askpeterblack. Follow me on Facebook, Peter Benghazi Black.
If you don’t, I’m sending the posse!

How Do You Know When You’re Being Loved?

How do you know when you are being loved?

This question came up in a Facebook discussion. There were several different answers to this question but the one constant answer was that love is an action not a feeling. We hear all the time that Love is an action, not a feeling.  We often associate love with how we feel but sometimes that feeling resembles love, which can make things complicated. By the same token love starts with a feeling and evolves into something much more requiring action. Love doesn’t sustain itself. There must be active participation to keep love alive. Love is not based on a condition or contingency; meaning it’s restricted or limited.  To answer the question………..How do you know when you are being loved?

You never really know how much someone loves you. It isn’t a thing that just happens like in a fairy tale. There must be a common bond or a special place in your heart and mind where you can go. Sometimes by yourself, and other times with each other. Loving someone is unconditional, meaning there is no condition that the person you love loves you back. However, to know if someone loves you all you need to do is look at the actions of the person. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. This doesn’t mean material gifts and money. Sometimes, people confuse receiving or giving gifts and money as acts of love. Their actions should include sacrifice, respect, and compromise. If someone claims they love you then hurt you with their actions then most definitely that is not considered love. On the flip side, people in love will sometimes hurt each other with spiteful words and actions during arguments or disagreements. That doesn’t necessarily mean there is no love, but as humans we tend to be emotional and our reaction to certain things come from that emotion. It’s the hope that the other will understand and forgive after all is said and done.

Real and true love is a continual process over time; it is not the “warm and fuzzy feelings” or the “intense physical chemistry/attraction”. That is simply lust, which is often confused for love. (Umm that may be another blog post) One thing is for certain………Love is something you are sure about; it is not uncertain.

Surely there is more to add, so truthseeker fans what are your thoughts? How do you know when you are being loved?


Happy Valentine’s Day from St. Peter Black


You’ve heard it before.Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.As catchy as it sounds, it just isn’t true. Sorry, the tagline was created to sell books. I’ll admit men and women have obvious differences but the dividing line is perspective. So, ladies, while you’re pruning those dozen roses, in the name of St.Valentine, know, depending on the guy, they carry a deeper message. Below is a list of things from the Male Perspective.

*We don’t give in to your pouting because we’re annoyed.  We acquiesce because we like the way your eyes light up when you’re excited.

*We don’t engage in sex solely for the orgasm.  We do it because it is with you.

*We don’t compromise merely for the sake of compromising.  We compromise because we understand that a better you means a better us.

*We don’t dislike crying because you’re crying.  We don’t like it because when you’re hurt we are too.

*We don’t buy you things because it demonstrates love.  We buy you things because we just want to.

*We don’t forget things that are important to you on purpose.  We lose track of things because we are trying to do everything you ask of us.

*We don’t tell you good morning for the sake of saying it.  With you, the morning is actually good.

*We don’t misunderstand what you are saying.  We get it but we seek further clarity because we want to make sure we don’t make the same mistake again.

*We don’t withdraw to the man cave because we don’t want to be with you.  We need time to reflect on our purpose, renew our strength, review our mistakes, helping us become a better man.

*We don’t avoid confrontation because we can’t communicate.  We avoid it because we’d rather spend our energy fighting for us.


About the Author:

Peter Black aka Benghazi dons a panoramic outlook, giving him a unique hue.  He is a full-fledged libertarian, living life according to his own terms.  Rocked since birth, Peter has Rock Star DNA and is well-traveled.  Born in the South and raised by his mother, he’s a Southern Gentleman but has an affinity for the East Coast.  Peter enjoys the creative process and when he’s not blogging, he’s creating projects for his You Tube channel. Check out Peter Black’s blog www.askpeterblack.com  Follow him on Twitter @askpeterblack

Valentine’s Day Giveaway

Happy Valentine’s Day Truthseeker Fans!!!!

In honor of Valetine’s Day, I am hosting my very first Giveaway! That’s right GIVEAWAY!!! Enter for your chance to win Shari’s Berries® Bites – 9 Count Berry Bites.

Shari’s Berries® Bites – 9 Count

This 9 count contains 3 Strawberries Covered in Milk with White Swizzles, 3 Strawberries Covered in Dark with Milk Swizzles, and 3 Strawberries Covered in White with Dark Swizzles. What a perfectly sized bite!  You can enjoy these luscious berries alone or with a friend.

Rules and Requirements for the Giveaway:

Comment on this post! Tell me about your plans for Valentine’s Day! You must enter a valid email address.

That’s it! Quite simple!

The giveaway ends February 14 at 11:59 p.m. Good Luck!!!

TERMS: The winner will be chosen randomly. This giveaway is only for U.S. residents only. All international entries will be discarded. If you win the giveaway, you must be willing to provide a U.S. address (NO P.O. BOXES) to have the item shipped out to you. The winner will be notified via email.


Guest Post: The Secret to Hooking Up With Latin Men

The Secret to Hooking Up with Latin Men: There is no Secret


Miranda Santiago

I don’t know if it’s the winter blues or something in the water, but recently I’ve been getting a lot of questions from some of my girlfriends about how to hook up with “fiery Latino men”. There is something that most women love about the dark hair and tan skin—points added if he speaks with an accent. I have found that I am not as attracted to the Enrique Iglesias’s or the Antonio Banderas’s that lurk in the minds of most women, but, being a Latina, my friends think that I know the ins and outs of the Latino Man’s mind. And I do. But I’ll tell you a little secret; it has nothing to do with anybody being Latin, and everything to do with them being men.

I’ll tell you right now that nabbing that Latin hunk isn’t any harder than nabbing any other guy. Why is this? Because they are all guys! Now, I’m not saying that all guys are the same, at all. They’re not. What I’m saying is that you can’t look at a guy, see that he’s a Latino, and have a magic formula on how to hook up with him. It doesn’t work that way just because somebody is Latino, just like it doesn’t work that way just because somebody is black or white.

I’ve looked at a couple of different pieces of “advice” that I’ve found on the internet. One site says to:

  • Dress sexy
  • Smell good
  • Learn how to dance
  • Have a good sense of humor

Another site says to:

  • Hang out with more Hispanic people
  • Hang out in areas where Hispanic people hang out

There are other sites that get more into the stereotypical side of Latino dating, like how you should start acting more “fiery” and let them chase you, but I’m not going to even go into that because stereotypes are ridiculous. What I am going to point out is that the sites above are not offering any new information. There is nothing about dressing sexy, smelling good, dancing, or having a good sense of humor that is specific to Latinos. These are all things you should be doing anyway, regardless of whether or not your hook up is Hispanic. The second list, on the other hand, is simply telling women to go hang out where Latinos hang out. Why? Because that’s all a woman really needs to do!

The best piece of advice that I can give a woman looking to get with a Latino is to just be yourself. Use whatever tactics you use on any other guy. There’s no big secret on how to hook up with Latino guys, so stop reading into it so much.

Latino, Asian, whatever, the thing to remember is that a man is a man. And if you want a man there’s really only one thing you have to do: GO GET HIM!

About the Author:

Miranda Santiago is a psychology major and freelance writer.  She enjoys writing about dating topics, appealing specifically to relationships involving Latin women. Apart from writing, Miranda enjoys windsurfing, playing the piano and cheering on her favorite baseball teams. Miranda can be reached on Twitter at @MirSantiago33.


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