Monthly Archives: October 2011
The Ike and Tina Effect
This weekend I walked in the Domestic Violence Walk. This is the second year that the New Beginnings Domestic Violence Organization held the walk in honor of so many victims that have experienced domestic violence or still experiencing it. Today wraps up Domestic Awareness month and of course National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The awareness and the fight must continue.
The Ike and Tina Effect has been going on for decades. Many women have been victims of domestic violence. The number continues to grow in young women. So just what is Domestic Violence?Domestic/dating violence (also known as intimate partner violence) is a pattern of controlling behaviors that one partner uses to get power over the other.
- any kind of physical violence or threat of physical violence to get control
- emotional or mental abuse, such as playing mind games, making you feel crazy, or constantly putting you down or criticizing you
- Sexual abuse, including making you do anything you don’t want to do, refusing to have safe sex or making you feel badly about yourself sexually.
Here are some facts for you:
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About 95% of all domestic violence victims are female. The majority of male victims are assaulted by other men.
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One third of American women and one-quarter of women worldwide will experience domestic/dating violence in their lifetime.
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An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Some studies say the numbers are even greater – up to 5.3 million – since most assaults go unreported.
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Only 25% of all physical assaults perpetuated by intimate partners are reported to the police.
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Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence.
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On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. That’s more than 1,100 women a year.
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Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women – more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
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One half of all homeless women in the country are fleeing from domestic violence.
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Women are more likely to be attacked by someone they know rather than by a stranger.
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Domestic/Dating violence costs the US $5.8 billion annually in health related costs, with $4.1 billion for victims needing medical and mental health services.
Those statistics are alarming! It is an epidemic affecting people in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background. The good news is that help is available for the victim and the perpetrator. Domestic Violence is a learned behavior; therefore, it can be unlearned.
This brings me back to the movie we all know and love, “What’s Love Got to Do With It” Tina Turner let the world into her very personal and horrific story in her book, I Tina, that was later turned into the movie. Her story gave us an upclose picture of what domestic violence is like. This took place in the 60′s and 70′s. Let’s not forget about Chris Brown and Rihanna. Their story gave us a modern-day twist and it also reminded us that Domestic Violence is still prevalent. It really affects our young women. Like the character in the movie warned Tina, “It is not ok to let some muthafucker pound on you”! We need to remind our young girls, teens, and young women, that they do not have to take that abuse. We can put an end to Domestic Violence, so let’s continue the fight to end it permanently.
Choose Respect Initiative
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
Dating Matters: Understanding Teen Dating
Violence Prevention
www.vetoviolence.org/datingmatters
Truthseeker411
Related articles
- Rihanna can learn from Tina Turner’s triumphs (thegrio.com)
- Protecting Students With Tina’s Law (wdok.radio.com)
It Sucks to Be You!
Women tend to enjoy the Beyoncé anthems like Irreplaceable and The Best Thing I Never Had because they are relatable. Those female anthems have inspired many women to get rid of that good for nothing man. Hearing the catchy phrases “to the left, to the left” and “I bet it sucks to be you right now” empowers women to dismiss that bad lover. I happen to like both songs; however, there is a flip side. Meaning that men can say the same thing to us.
This story is about a relationship that ended because of a cell phone conversation that shouldn’t have taken place. A woman was talking to a friend and didn’t realize her phone dialed her significant other. She was going on and on about him. She said that her s/o was going to buy a new house if they were going to continue to be together. She didn’t like the old house he was living in. She also discussed how she was going to take his money. She continued to rant and rave not knowing that her s/o was listening. To make a long story short, he confronted her and decided they should part ways. She was stunned when she realized he heard the entire conversation. She begged and pleaded for him to stay but of course, he didn’t
Time went on and he moved on with someone else. Meanwhile the ex was determined to win him back. She played every trick in the book. Nothing worked. She thought for sure she would get him back until he dealt the final blow to her ego. The conversation went something like this:
Her: I need to get my shoes I left at your house.
Him: Ok when can you come get them?
Her: Can you bring them to me?
Him: I will drop them off when I get off work.
Fast Forward
Him: I’m in your driveway. Come get your stuff.
Her: Dang, you can’t come in.
Him: No
Her: You brought me all of my things. I just wanted my shoes.
Him: There is no need to prolong this.
Her: Why are you acting like this? Why are you tripping? You aint gotta act like that! Why don’t you come in for a little while?
Him: I’m trying to give you your stuff. We are not together anymore.
Her: We can at least be friends. Why are you so cold towards me?
Him:I don’t have time for this, please get your stuff!
Then she started to say a few choice words to him. She called him everything in the book. He finally said, “It sucks to be you right now!” Boy did that piss her off! She went ballistic! She said, “What are you trying to say?” “I’m the best thing you never had”. He said quite honestly you are. He went on to say that he was a good man and that he really cared for her but she showed her true colors. He said he is glad the true intentions were revealed.
Talk about shiggity blowing up in her face. She lost a good man because she didn’t appreciate what she had. Her ex moved on with another woman. He found someone who appreciates him and that is totally into him and not his money. I bet it really sucks to be her right now.
Ladies let this be a lesson learned. Don’t think you’re “Irreplaceable” and don’t think a man won’t tell you “you’re the best thing he has never had”. I found this story to be humorous and just had to share.
Ok fans…………..speak your mind!
Truthseeker411
Related articles
- “Irreplaceable” – Beyoncé (hifilives.wordpress.com)
Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle
It’s officially fall, winter is around the corner, and football season is in full effect. It’s something about the cooler weather that makes men and women lubby-dubby. That’s right….men and women!!!! This is the season for new love, new adventures, new romance. As a result, you get the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle.
The Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle is the opposite of Spring Fling and Summer Lovin. If you have not read that post check it out http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-2d’
The Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle is when romance happens, old flames rekindle, lovers reconnect, and new relationships blossom. No one wants to go through the long winter months unattached to someone. Cuddling up with a pillow or snuggling in a blanket alone is not an option. Men will be making love connections happen. Women will be ready and willing to be snatched up. Don’t be surprised if your spring fling or summer love turn into an exclusive relationship.
Husbands and significant others will avoid the doghouse at all costs. Ladies, this may be the chance to get everything done on that honey-do list. The husbands and s/os want to be able to kiss, cuddle, and make love to you without any hassles. The cool weather reminds them about how well a woman can warm then up.
Fellas, the ladies want to be kissed and cuddled. They want to feel your warm body next to them on a cold night. They want you to rub their hair and plant sweet kisses on their lips. Oh and believe me, the ladies will avoid giving tongue lashings just to get a little fall kiss and winter cuddle. Ha!
Some of you may have what I call old faithful. That’s the person you consider as your friend with benefits. You and this person have a “no strings attached” relationship that is convenient for the both of you. It’s similar to a fling but it continues through all seasons. Old faithful is perfect for the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle. It’s like being in a relationship without the hassle.
Now here is the flip side to the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle. You may find yourself getting calls from guys and girls from past flings. They are trying to reconnect but not necessarily in a good way. Their main agenda is to make you the fall back guy/girl because they don’t want to be alone. They don’t really want to be in a relationship but they seek companionship. They can’t imagine not having someone to cuddle with so they call you up. If being the fall back person is not a problem for you, then go for it.
Fall and Winter are full of opportunities to get close: romantic fires, holidays galore, snuggle-friendly weather. Go ahead the time is now to start enjoying the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle.
Check out Spring Fling and Summer Lovin! http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-2d
Truthseeker411
Happy Weight
Ok Ladies……….Have you ever been hanging around the house with your new sweetheart, and couldn’t wait to unbuttoned your jeans? Not because you wanted to get busy, but because the jeans were feeling snug.
Most of us have fallen victim to the dreaded weight gain when happiness strikes. I know I have. Is it because we stop caring for ourselves? I don’t think so.
Picture this….. You and sweetheart are going to restaurant after restaurant; having dinner and cocktails. You have movie nights with pizza and hot wings. Then you find yourself cuddling more on the couch instead of going to the gym. Oh and not to mention enjoying those sweet treats Shari’s Berries your sweetheart is sending all the time. Then suddenly, your look up and your ass is fat 10, 15, or 25 pounds heavier.
The thing that is most irritating is that the man usually doesn’t gain weight. Therefore, you find yourself with extra baggage and he is slim and trim. What’s even worse is when you and your sweetheart break up and you have all that weight gain…………….so not fair (LOL!) Here is what you do when you are in an exciting new relationship:
- When eating out, eat half of your food and take the rest to go. Don’t try to keep up with your sweetheart. If you get dessert, make him split it with you.
- Limit the cocktails. If you man is guzzling all the wine, that doesn’t mean you have to compete.
- Instead of snuggling on the couch several nights of week, go for a walk together.
- Convince your sweetheart to join the gym or workout with you. You could even take dance lessons together.
The excitement of a new relationship is alway fun. You enjoy being with that special someone and doing all the wonderful things that couples do. Our hips and tummy pay the price but remember they don’t have too. Enjoy your man and still be sexy. I know…I know..It’s easier said than done.
Have you ever experienced weight gain in a relationship? Fellas, can you relate?
Truthseeker411
Related articles
- Ricki Lake Gained Weight Falling in Love – Can You Relate? (fitsugar.com)
Let’s Save Our Ta-Tas
As many of you know it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so of course I had to post something about it. Sorry this post isn’t about love, dating, lying, relationships,and all of that other stuff. I feel this is very important. I know everyone else is talking about but you know what? We should talk about it more because it affects so many women and their families. I will be writing a series of posts this month related to breast cancer. Let’s start with saving our ta-tas!
What is breast cancer? Breast cancer is a malignant (cancer) tumor that starts from cells of the breast. It is found mostly in women, but men can get breast cancer, too. (We will talk about the men soon.)
Breast cancer is the most common cancer in women of all major racial and ethnic groups in the United States. Among Hispanic women, it is the most common cause of death from cancer, and it is the second most common cause of death from cancer among white, black, Asian or Pacific Islander, and American Indian or Alaska Native Women. Although more white women get breast cancer, more black women will die from it.
What’s the plan for saving the ta-tas? Well ladies you know we have to make changes to our lifestyle. That’s part of the plan for a healthy life, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the same plan applies to lower the risk of getting breast cancer. Here are a few tips on how to save the ta-tas:
- Eat right and feel right
- Get up and move-(exercise please)
- Maintain a healthy weight
- Limit those cocktails
- Watch the oral contraceptives
- Breast feed your babies
Early detection is the other part of the plan. You must be proactive about your health. Ladies, here is what we should be doing:
- perform routine breast self-exams
- schedule clinical breast exams
- get a mammogram-the age range varies. I’ve heard age 40 and up, age 50 and up. It wouldn’t hurt to start at age 35. Especially if there is a family history of breast cancer.
Now you have a plan to save th ta-tas. Get up and just do it…….Why?
- One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.
- Over 200,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year.
- When breast cancer is detected early (localized stage), the 5-year survival rate is 98%.
- Over 30% of women are diagnosed after breast cancer has spread beyond the localized stage.
This is a very serious issue and we as women have to continue the fight against breast cancer. It affects everyone. Your mother, aunt, sister, cousin, best friend, wife, grandmother, colleague, neighbor or simply you or the person sitting next to you right now can be at risk. We can’t afford not to fight.
Let’s save the ta-tas!!!
With all sincerity,
Truthseeker411
Information used in this post was gathered from www.nationalbreastcancer.org, http://www.cdc.gov/uscs, www.bebrightpink.org.
For more information about breast cancer go to www.thebreastcancersite.com, www.breastcancer.org, www.komen.org, and www.cancer.org.
Related articles
- Save the Ta-Tas! (moxy2moxy.wordpress.com)
- Breast Cancer Awareness: More Than A Slogan (littlefallofrain.wordpress.com)
