Monthly Archives: January 2012
Circle of Sister Friends
Sisterhood- 1. The relationship between sisters. 2. The feeling of kinship with and closeness to a group of women or all women.
Do you have a circle of sister friends that you share the bond of sisterhood with? Do they embrace you, speak positive things in your life, have only your best interest at heart? A couple of weeks ago, I was spending time with my sorority sisters and later I started reflecting on women, friendship, and sisterhood. I started to think about how blessed I am to have true sister friends in my life. I have developed some friendships that will last a lifetime. I have friends that I have been friends with since grade school, high school, and college. I know I have a circle of sisters that will be there for me no matter what. They keep me grounded.
I started reflecting more when I was watching an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I was watching how Ne Ne, Sheree’, and Kim are no longer friends. They can’t even be civil or cordial to each other. I was also looking at how the entire cast is rather catty and no one really has any loyalty. Now I know it is just a TV show and perhaps there is added fluff for ratings. I guess what I am really trying to say is that yes some friendships may be broken beyond repair or maybe you won’t have a sister friend bond with all friends; but I think as women we should always stay positive. We need to stay away from the envy, strife, backstabbing, negativity, and being catty. Why do some of us feel the need to compete, undermine, and disrespect each other? We need to have love and respect for each other. We need to lift each other up and be happy when something good happens.
In an article from Essence magazine, First Lady Michelle Obama said it best. ” Women energize me. We kind of hold each other up.” She says she refuels her spirit by connecting with a small group of girlfriends. With all of her duties as wife, mother, and first lady; she make time to have dinner or just enjoy a girl’s night out. She continues to say that President Obama is terrific , he is her true partner and spending time with him is key. But it is also important that women find each other and that’s where the natural reenergizing happens.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/2011/09/28/the-leading-lady-michelle-obama/#ixzz1knxjn4j0
I say to you ladies let’s embrace each other. There is strength in numbers. Find you a circle of sister friends. Also when we see each other in the work place, salon, gym, grocery store, mall or where ever, say something nice and don’t judge. There is nothing like a world full of beautiful women. God created a wonderful thing when he created us.
“Sisterhood is many things. It’s a warm smile on a cold and rainy day, a friendly hug, a cheerful hello… It’s all that a good and lasting friendship is, only better. It’s treasured. It’s sacred. It’s knowing that there will always be someone there for you. It’s dreams shared, and goals achieved. It’s counting on others and being counted on. It is real.”~Author Unknown
This is just my latest rant, ramble, or shall I say reflection. 
Happy Founder’s Day to My Beautiful Sisters of Delta Sigma Theta, Incorporated, January 13, 1913
Truthseeker411
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Who me? A Dream Snatcher
Are you a dream snatcher or the voice of reason?
This morning I was listening to the Tom Joyner Morning Show while driving to work. Tom, Cybill, Jay were discussing Jennifer Hudson. They were talking her setting a wedding date to marry her fiance’ David Otunga aka “Punk” from the I Love New York Reality Show. You know the one……. the spinoff of another crazy ass show Flavor of Love. I’m not sure if it is accurate or where their source came from but according to TJMS, Jennifer wants David to quit wrestling before they get married. He supposedly turned down a lucrative job offer at a prestigious law firm with a salary well into the six figure range. Jennifer wants him to pursue something real, even though wrestling is a six figure income for him. He says he enjoys wrestling and wants to make it his career. I guess he really likes showing of those big arms and chest. I’m not sure if he is any good at wrestling.
Is Jennifer right in feeling this way? He does have his law degree. Why would he want to be the next Hulk Hogan? Of course saying my husband is an attorney rolls of the tongue better than my husband is a professional wrestler. However, he is the same guy that competed for the love of New York on that ridiculous reality show. Perhaps Mr. Otunga just wants to be famous like his future wife. I guess being a lawyer, does not bring him the same fame. Well Tom and Jay said Jennifer is a dream snatcher. She should support his decision to be a wrestler no matter how corny it is. Cybill says she understands where Jennifer is coming from and someone has to be the voice of reason. Now I know people could care less about their relationship, but issue at hand is relevant.
Some husbands, wives, significant others, friends, and family are not very supportive and tend to kill dreams whether intentional or not. They fill your head with negative thoughts. By the same token, they are the voice of reason when you are being foolish making a decision you will regret. Sometimes it’s hard to see if they have your best interest at heart. I say if it is something that you are passionate about, go for it whole-heartedly. Make your dream a reality by actively pursuing it and if the person truly loves you they will be supportive no matter what.
So Truthseeker fans, do you think Jennifer is a dream snatcher or is she the voice of reason? Are you a dream snatcher? Do you have a dream snatcher in your life?
Truthseeker411
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Friends With Benefits vs Cut Buddies
What’s the difference between friends with benefits and cut buddies? According to the Urban Dictionary…….
Friends with Benefits- A safe relationship, that mimics a real partnership but is void or greatly lacking jealousy and other such emotions that come with a serious relationship. 2. A physically involved relationship, where both partners enjoy some comforts of sitting on the fence between serious relationship and simple friendship.
Cut Buddy- A person who is not your boyfriend or girlfriend with whom you have sexual relations, on the mutual understanding that you want sex and nothing more. 2. A sex partner to whom you have no special attachment. A person you occasionally have sex with.
A friend and I recently had a discussion about friends with benefits and cut buddies. We were trying to decide if they were the same or different. This is what we came up with:
Friends with benefits do more that just have sex. They go to the movies, concerts, shows, etc. together. They talk on the phone at least once or twice a week. They have established a full-blown exclusive relationship is not what they want. They have a mutual respect for each other and on some level they care for each other. Basically they enjoy the companionship without the commitment.
Cut Buddies are basically booty calls. They only hook up for sex. There is no hanging out whatsoever! There is no communication other than the occasional call or text for sex. Emotions are totally lacking and getting the itched scratched is the primary goal.
Basically what we came up with is very close to what the urban dictionary said. It is understandable how people would confuse the two. Now let’s talk about the pros and cons of FWB and CB.
FWB can be quite comfortable, convenient, and fun, especially if both parties are not looking for a serious relationship. It really works for people who want companionship with no strings attached. Being able to have dinner, go bowling, or hang out at a local night spot without the pressure of trying to impress is a wonderful perk. The beauty of FWB is the friends aspect of it. There is a level of care and respect between the friends and sex is the icing on the cake. The thing to remember is that both parties MUST be on the same page and ultimately have the same wants and desires of a FWB.
The biggest drawback is catching feelings. When one person starts to get emotionally attached and wants more, the dynamics of the relationship change. This results in hurt feelings, heartbreak, and a ruined friendship. Another drawback is feelings of jealousy. Even though you are not committed to each other, you may develop feelings of jealousy when you see the other person with another one of his or hers friends with benefits.
There are no real benefits of a cut buddy. The sole purpose of a cut buddy is sex. It’s nothing more than a booty call, f*** buddy, or sex buddy. A cut buddy usually does not want to do anything beyond the bedroom gymnastics.
The downside is the lack of emotion, communication, and friendship. On the other hand, emotions can get involved just like FWB. The more you sleep with someone the more attached you can become. It’s human nature.
Friends with benefits, cut buddies, sex buddies, booty calls, and one night stands are all forms of casual sex. Casual sex relationships have become very common for various reasons. Should you decide to get involved with a FWB or Cut Buddy relationship, be sure you clearly understand the pros and cons. Most definitely have an understanding of what the relationship is. You don’t want to be a Cut Buddy and think you are a friend with benefits. A Cut Buddy is the same as a booty call but it isn’t the same a friend with benefits. I stumbled across the image below and just had to share.
Before engaging in casual sex relationships, always remember to use protection. #Safe Sex
What are your thoughts about FWB vs Cut Buddies? Are they the same or different?
Truthseeker411
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Truthseeker’s Reflections of 2011
As I sit and reflect on 2011, I truly can say it was very interesting. I didn’t have a lot of drama or scandals but I think a few things that stood out to me. Where should I start…Let’s see!
One of My Accomplishments
I accomplished many small things in 2011. I won’t name them all but one accomplishment does come to mind. By April 2011 I was 25 pounds lighter and loving it! Just in time to rock the latest spring fashions. Hopefully I can lose a few more pounds this year
The Funniest or Most Embarrassing Thing That Happened to Me
In the Spring of 2011, I had a blind date to a Spring Gala. After losing 25 pounds I was very excited about dressing up and being a princess for the night. Not to mention having a an escort. Let’s just say it was a #fail. My blind date arrived to escort me to the gala and I wanted to run for the hills. He didn’t look anything like his picture. He was not an attractive person at all. He closely resembled a camel. He had a very strange look. I don’t know what the hell he did to his pictures, but I couldn’t believe my eyes. He had on a tuxedo that just didn’t do anything for him and to top it all off he had a beanie looking hat on his head. The nice girl in me proceeded with the date but the mean girl in me wanted to tell him the date was off. We arrived to the gala. I slowly walked to the door because I just did not want to enter with Shrek. I just wanted that night to end quickly. I didn’t introduce him to anybody, wouldn’t dance with him, and barely held a conversation with him. I kept thinking how did I get myself in this dilemma. Needless to say, I survived the gala but you better believe my friends did not let me live it down. As a gag gift for my birthday, they framed a picture of me and a camel’s face on a male’s body. The look on my face was priceless! The lesson learned from this experience is don’t let a blind date escort you to a major function.
The Most Shocking News I Received
Back in June, my ex I dated for six years shared some very big news with me. My ex and I had this very long and intense relationship. I guess you can say he was my first love. Everyone expected us to get married, including him and me. When you thought of Truthseeker, you instantly thought of Night Rider. That’s just the way it was. We’ve been broken up for years and moved on with other people but there’s always this connection. Any who, we have become very good friends over the years. He shared with me that he was going to be a father. He was not happy about the news because he and the mommy to be are not exactly the happy couple. I’m listening to him and trying to come to grips with this announcement. I was totally shocked. I never would have predicted that. I was feeling some kind of way about his big news, but why? After all we have been broken up for nine years. Mr. Night Rider is still trying to come to terms with being a father. He always felt that I would be the mother of his child(ren). I guess in a way I did too.
The Most Surprising Thing I Did
The most surprising thing I did in 2011 was starting this blog. It’s still very surreal at times because I have never done anything like this. It’s kind of funny because I do enjoy writing. I have written poems, skits, and short stories but never have I wanted to share them. One of my friends actually suggested I start this blog because I would always joke about writing a book about dating experiences. Some friends tell have said me starting a blog isn’t a shocker to them but I disagree. However,I am glad I did start The Truth About Dating and I am grateful for my friend who suggested it. It has become a very fun and therapeutic hobby. I wish I could write a post everyday but the Ph.D program takes most of my time. I will continue to post when time allows. I have a few topics written in my notebook. Stay tuned!
Moving Ahead
Twenty-Twelve is here now and I am excited about what’s in store for me. I didn’t make any resolutions because I know I will not follow through. Instead I have set a few attainable goals. Goals I know I can reach. It’s going to be a good year! 2012 is the year of possibilities!
Alright Truthseeker Fans, share some of the things you experienced in 2011. Whether it was funny, horrible, outrageous, or just plain silly.
Truthseeker411
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2011 in Review
Happy New Year Truthseeker Fans!!!!!
Since starting this blog in July 2011, I have definitely grown. I started under the name Truthseeker411 and later revealed my identity to family and friends. I changed the title and the layout of the blog. It was definitely a slow but fun start. I am grateful for the support of friends, family, and other people who have taken the time to read my rants and ramblings. With that being said, here are the blog stats for 2011:
- The Truth About Dating was viewed 3800 times in 2011
- There were 30 blog posts.
- There were visitors from the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom.
Here are the Top 5 Posts of 2011…………
- Can We Talk……Not Text? http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-5W
- Shades of Love http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-4k
- 10 Things Men and Women Lie About in Relationships http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-1g
- A Deadly Lie http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-p
- Jack Rabbits and Juice Boxes http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-2j
I say not bad for only 5 months of blogging but there is always room for improvement. My vision for 2012 is to:
- Increase my fan base
- Have a few guest bloggers
- Get more feedback or comments
- Start Date Night Chronicles (Real dating experiences)
- Have over 100 posts by the end of 2012
With the help of my loyal Truthseeker Fans, the vision can become a reality. Once again thank you for taking the time read this blog. Much love to all of you!!! Smooches!!!
Please take a moment and vote for your favorite post of 2011.
Do you enjoy The Truth About Dating?
Thank you for voting! Please share any other comments you have in the comment section. Feedback is always welcome!
Truthseeker411
Click here to see the complete report.
