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How Do You Know When You’re Being Loved?
How do you know when you are being loved?
This question came up in a Facebook discussion. There were several different answers to this question but the one constant answer was that love is an action not a feeling. We hear all the time that Love is an action, not a feeling. We often associate love with how we feel but sometimes that feeling resembles love, which can make things complicated. By the same token love starts with a feeling and evolves into something much more requiring action. Love doesn’t sustain itself. There must be active participation to keep love alive. Love is not based on a condition or contingency; meaning it’s restricted or limited. To answer the question………..How do you know when you are being loved?
You never really know how much someone loves you. It isn’t a thing that just happens like in a fairy tale. There must be a common bond or a special place in your heart and mind where you can go. Sometimes by yourself, and other times with each other. Loving someone is unconditional, meaning there is no condition that the person you love loves you back. However, to know if someone loves you all you need to do is look at the actions of the person. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. This doesn’t mean material gifts and money. Sometimes, people confuse receiving or giving gifts and money as acts of love. Their actions should include sacrifice, respect, and compromise. If someone claims they love you then hurt you with their actions then most definitely that is not considered love. On the flip side, people in love will sometimes hurt each other with spiteful words and actions during arguments or disagreements. That doesn’t necessarily mean there is no love, but as humans we tend to be emotional and our reaction to certain things come from that emotion. It’s the hope that the other will understand and forgive after all is said and done.
Real and true love is a continual process over time; it is not the “warm and fuzzy feelings” or the “intense physical chemistry/attraction”. That is simply lust, which is often confused for love. (Umm that may be another blog post) One thing is for certain………Love is something you are sure about; it is not uncertain.
Surely there is more to add, so truthseeker fans what are your thoughts? How do you know when you are being loved?
Truthseeker411
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Thank you so much for supporting this blog!
Love,
Truthseeker411
Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle
It’s officially fall, winter is around the corner, and football season is in full effect. It’s something about the cooler weather that makes men and women lubby-dubby. That’s right….men and women!!!! This is the season for new love, new adventures, new romance. As a result, you get the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle.
The Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle is the opposite of Spring Fling and Summer Lovin. If you have not read that post check it out http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-2d’
The Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle is when romance happens, old flames rekindle, lovers reconnect, and new relationships blossom. No one wants to go through the long winter months unattached to someone. Cuddling up with a pillow or snuggling in a blanket alone is not an option. Men will be making love connections happen. Women will be ready and willing to be snatched up. Don’t be surprised if your spring fling or summer love turn into an exclusive relationship.
Husbands and significant others will avoid the doghouse at all costs. Ladies, this may be the chance to get everything done on that honey-do list. The husbands and s/os want to be able to kiss, cuddle, and make love to you without any hassles. The cool weather reminds them about how well a woman can warm then up.
Fellas, the ladies want to be kissed and cuddled. They want to feel your warm body next to them on a cold night. They want you to rub their hair and plant sweet kisses on their lips. Oh and believe me, the ladies will avoid giving tongue lashings just to get a little fall kiss and winter cuddle. Ha!
Some of you may have what I call old faithful. That’s the person you consider as your friend with benefits. You and this person have a “no strings attached” relationship that is convenient for the both of you. It’s similar to a fling but it continues through all seasons. Old faithful is perfect for the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle. It’s like being in a relationship without the hassle.
Now here is the flip side to the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle. You may find yourself getting calls from guys and girls from past flings. They are trying to reconnect but not necessarily in a good way. Their main agenda is to make you the fall back guy/girl because they don’t want to be alone. They don’t really want to be in a relationship but they seek companionship. They can’t imagine not having someone to cuddle with so they call you up. If being the fall back person is not a problem for you, then go for it.
Fall and Winter are full of opportunities to get close: romantic fires, holidays galore, snuggle-friendly weather. Go ahead the time is now to start enjoying the Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle.
Check out Spring Fling and Summer Lovin! http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-2d
Truthseeker411
Your Truth About Dating9-12-11
Hey Truthseeker,
Here is my truth about a liar story. I am having a hot and steamy fling with my boss. It’s has been going on since the beginning of the year. It’s a lot of fun but I think people at work are starting to notice. I don’t want that to happen. Oh by the way, my boss isn’t married. He’s divorced but he isn’t looking for anything serious and neither am I. I am really enjoying him but I don’t want this to affect the work environment. I’m starting to get weird stares from people. What should I do?
R Scott from Atlanta
Dear R Scott from Atlanta,
I love that you are having fun but it is tough to pull off those workplace romances. They can become very tricky. I have always been told “Don’t play where you get your pay”. The good news is that your boss isn’t married….Whew!!!! The bad news is if people at work have noticed, then let the gossip begin. I don’t recommend workplace romance but you are already involved. I would say try to be as discreet as possible, watch where you go in public, watch the flirting in the office, don’t tell anyone, and don’t let it affect your work. You and your boss have been hanging out since the beginning of the year, that’s a little long for a fling. Be careful!
Truthseeker411
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Dear Truthseeker411,
I just have to share my truth about a liar story. Last fall I met this guy in the military. I went to visit him in January and we had a wonderful time. It was supposed to be a weekend trip but I got snowed in. My flight was cancelled. Anyway, the guy all of sudden started acting different. It was very awkward. I couldn’t wait ti get home. I was finally able to go home. Well once I got home I found out that the guy was married. he had gotten married 2 weeks prior to me coming to visit. His wife is also in the military and she was stationed somewhere else. I was so pissed with him. I confronted him and of course he tried to lie but I knew better. He told me to never call him again and that’s when I had to get my sweet little revenge. A few weeks later I told him I was pregnant. He started freaking out and saying it’s not mine and I can’t deal with this right now. I kept this going for months and he didn’t want anything part of this. He was so afraid his wife was going to find out. I was laughing on the inside. I know it was mean but I had to get him back. LOL I just had to share this story.
Yours truly,
Scandalous in MS
Dear Scandalous in MS,
You are too much for words! I don’t think I could do something like that even though the guy is a jerk. I can’t believe he was cheating on his wife 2 weeks after the wedding. I’m sure you scared him pretty good. Hopefully he will think twice about cheating again. I don’t condone or promote revenge but this was pretty damn funny.
Shaking my damn head,
Truthseeker411
Do you have any advice or comments for R Scott and Scandalous?
Rainy Day Reflections
There is nothing better than sitting home on a rainy day and cuddling with that special someone. You just hang out on the couch or lie in bed and snuggle up against each other.
It has rained all day and I have been sitting and thinking about how romantic it would be to cuddle with a sweet, handsome, man. I know one man in particular that would appreciate my romantic antics. I’m sitting here listening to the raindrops against the window and I am thinking about the movie we could watch, the game we could play, the long hot bath we could enjoy together, and reminisce about the fun times.
Now I know what you are thinking………..Truthseeker is being really corny right now. Maybe I am but you will be surprised to know that men enjoy cuddling too. According to a recent study conducted by psychologists from Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, men have the need to cuddle also.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/2011/07/07/study-men-need-to-cuddle-too/#ixzz1WwP3x1IM
Rainy Day Cuddling is a great way to add a little romance to a relationship. The positive talks and laughter alone is enough to reconnect or enhance a relationship. Another plus is that it doesn’t break the bank…………basically free. Best of all you may find that your man enjoys it just as much as you do! Rainy Day Cuddling is healthy for all couples, so what are you waiting for? Happy Cuddling!
When was the last time you cuddled with your boo? Did you enjoy it? Men, do you really enjoy cuddling as much as the women?
Truthseeker411
Too Good to Be True
When a man loves, he loves……………..but when love hurts him, it’s hard for him to love again.
There was this guy who found the love of his life. His love was close to perfection. She was intelligent, beautiful, independent, loving, strong, nurturing, compassionate. She was everything he ever wanted in a woman. When he first laid eyes on her, he knew he had to have her. He nervously approached her, hoping she wouldn’t reject him. Well, it was his lucky day because she gave him her number. The conversation was great, instant chemistry. He couldn’t wait to see her again, so he asked on a date. They went to Wasabi, a sushi house and went dancing at a local hot spot. That was the first date of many.
The guy and h
is new love went on to become exclusive. He was feeling her and she was feeling him. They fell madly in love and was the envy of many people. This guy would often think to himself “I’m so lucky to have a love like this!” He couldn’t believe that he found the girl of his dreams. He was so happy!
They arrived at the 2 year mark. The guy and his love decided to keep separate living quarters but they had access to one another’s place. They didn’t want to live together before being engaged. The guy knew in his heart he would not keep her waiting for a ring. It was only a matter of time before she would be his bride-to-be! Is this love affair too good to be true?
One Friday night, after working late, the guy decided to visit the love of his life. Nothing was better than looking into her eyes after a long day. He pulled up to her apartment and didn’t see any light on but her car was there. He thought maybe she had turned in for the night. He decided he would go join her. He went to the door and unlocked it. He kicked off his shoes, pulled off his shirt and tie. He was ready to get comfortable with his love. He got to the bedroom and opened the door…….WTF!!!! He could not believe his eyes! The love of his life was straddling some guy. They were too busy to notice him standing there. He walked away quietly and went into the living room. He replayed the images in his mind. He’s contemplating whether to leave or stay. His mind is racing and his feet are pacing. Finally, he decided to leave but it was too late.
His love and the guy entered the room only to find him standing there. His love was shocked and the guy was confused. His love saw the hurt and anger in his eyes. She couldn’t lie her way out of this, so all she could say was baby, I’m sorry. He looked at her with disgust and said “F*** You………..you weren’t sorry a minute ago!” He looked at the other guy and said, “She’s all yours now, I’m done!” He left her apartment with his heart shattered to pieces. He could not believe the love of his life would hurt him so badly. He asked himself, “Was she too good to be true?”
The love of his life left him with pain and the memory of her unfaithfulness never again to love and trust another. Now to him love doesn’t exist….she was just too good to be true.
Truthseeker411
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